


lions and tigers and bears

by torigates



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-30
Updated: 2011-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Superboy, he adopts all the lonely animals. <i>All of them.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	lions and tigers and bears

  
"It started out innocently enough, I guess. Conner here couldn't make any friends of his own--"

"I can make my own friends," Superboy interrupted.

Wally looked at him over his shoulder. He was standing just behind Wally, feet apart, arms crossed over his chest, permanent scowl on his face. Same as usual.

Wally and Conner had made the trip down to the Happy Harbor Zoo, under strict orders from Batman. Conner wasn't happy about it, and Wally wasn't either, had anyone bothered to ask him (which they did not). Why did he have to be the one to deal with Superboy's weird animals? It wasn't fair. But Batman had growled at them and told them to just do it, and when Batman got that look on his face, you did what he said, no questions asked. Actually, Wally just usually did what Batman said, no questions asked.

"Don't mind him," Wally told the zookeeper. "He's upset. But like I said, Conner couldn't make any of his own friends." There was a low growl from behind him. Wally waived him off. "He couldn't make any of his own friends, so these things just started following him home! First there was the G-Gnome," he paused. "Actually don't worry about that. Confidential, you understand. And the Sphere, and then Wolf."

"The wolf?" the man asked. He was probably regretting agreeing to sit down with them. Wally and Conner had been led to his office. He sat behind his desk, Wally standing in front of him. Conner hovered at the door like the crazy person he was. No manners, that one.

Wally nodded seriously. "Not the wolf, _Wolf_."

"Okay." The zookeeper was obviously confused. Wally felt bad for the man, things were only about to get a lot more complicated. He didn't know why Batman hadn't just taken care of it. He probably own his own zoo. Probably owned a couple of zoos. He made a mental note to ask Robin about that later.

"Yeah, Wolf," Wally confirmed, getting back on track.

Conner growled again.

"Keep your panties on," Wally said. "No one is taking Wolf away from you."

"You kids have a wolf?" the man asked.

"Don't worry about that," Wally said, waving his hand in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "But after Wolf there was a goat."

"A goat?"

"Yeah, a goat. Random, I know, but with this one," he gestured over his shoulder to Conner. "It's actually one of the more normal circumstances in his life. Don't ask, long story."

The zookeeper stared at him.

"So, we were in Egypt, right? And, well, never mind what we were doing there, but we happened to be on a farm for… reasons. _Anyway_ , when it was all over, there she was. Just following behind Conner. And we _tried_ to get her to go back, but she just kept following. And bleating pathetically."

"So what were we supposed to do?" Conner exploded. "Just leave her there?"

The zookeeper look alarmed.

"I got this," Wally said, turning to face Conner. "So then we had this goat right?" he explained, turning back to the zookeeper. "And that was okay at first, she just hung out with us, did her own thing, didn't cause any trouble. Well, there was that one time when she got into one of our briefings and started chewing on Sup--someone's cape. I mean coat." He shook his head. "That was _not_ a pretty sight, trust me."

"Right," the man said.

"So besides that she was fitting in fine. I mean sure, she cut into some of my food, which was a little annoying, I can admit it."

Behind him, Wally could practically feel Conner's eyes on his neck. He turned around, and his jaw was clenched.

"But it was no big deal," Wally assured both of them. "I can share. But then."

"But then?" the zookeeper asked. Wally wasn't sure if he was actually getting into the story, or if he just wanted Wally to make his point.

"But then we were just hanging out in Gotham City! It wasn't even anywhere exotic! And then this cat started following Conner around."

Conner grunted.

"The cat was pretty cute," Wally admitted. "It followed us around _forever_ , and it was making all these pathetic meowing sounds, we really didn't have a chance. Plus M'gann has her heart set on taking it home, so that was an inevitability."

"Right…"

"After that there were a couple of dogs," Wally started to tick things off on his fingers. "A llama, a pig--don't ask--once a cow tried to follow Conner home, but Kaldur put his foot down on that one."

"I don't understand why," Conner muttered.

Wally shot him a look. "Really, dude?"

Conner mumbled under his breath.

"But that's wasn't the worst of it," Wally continued.

"Of course not," the zookeeper said.

"And we probably would have gotten away with it, but then Bat--I mean someone saw the receipts for all the rhino food."

"I was taking care of her!" Conner interrupted again.

"I know you were, buddy," Wally said and gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"So that's why we're here," he continued, looking eagerly to the zookeeper. "We already found a home for the goat and llama."

"What about the pig?"

Conner let out another growl, and Wally quickly made a slashing motion across his throat. "I said don't ask!"

"Sorry," the man said.

Wally turn back towards Conner, all his muscles were tense, and Wally could see his jaw clenching. "It's okay," he said. "Pig is in a better place."

"So?" he asked, when he felt reasonably sure that Conner wasn't about to start tearing the man's office apart. "Can you help us out?"

"I don't understand," the man said.

"Do you need a rhino?" Wally asked with a grin.

 

-

 

"How'd it go?" Robin asked when they got back to Mount Justice.

Robin was sitting on the couch watching some reality show Wally didn't recognize. As soon as they had come through the portal, Superboy had stomped off, presumably to find Miss M.

"Fine," Wally told him. "Though maybe give Supey a couple days, I think he took it pretty hard."

Robin nodded sagely. "Any casualties?" he asked after a moment.

"Surprisingly, no," Wally said and flopped down onto the couch. "Though that zookeeper definitely took his own life into his hands a couple of times," he paused. "He asked about Pig."

Robin winced.

"It was definitely the most stressful visit to the zoo I have ever experienced," he said.

"Even worse than that time--"

"Yes," Wally cut him off. "Even worse than that."

"Woah," Robin said.

They sat together in silence for a couple minutes.

“How many zoos does Batman own?” Wally asked. “A lot right? He owns a lot of zoos. Five? Six?”

Robin laughed but neither confirmed nor denied.


End file.
